one week...

and then i'll have a verdict on the whole iron situation. next wednesday i'll get my blood drawn and then, most likely, i'll get a call back the next day with the results. i guess i don't even really know all the options. i know that if the levels hold steady then i'm ok... maybe they'll need to check a few more times throughout the pregnancy. but if i drop (with taking all the supplements and doing all the right stuff), then i guess i'll be looking for an OB again. oy. i'll let you know.

limits of imagination

caleb has a great imagination. he loves to have his cars drive over to each other and talk about what they like on their toast (jelly, butter, honey, etc) or what kind of cereal they want for breakfast. he tries to put his diapers on stuffed animals and wants to clean their ears with q-tips. cooking is a favorite thing so any spatula all of a sudden whips up some eggs and anything even remotely cup-like needs to be sipped and shared. most recently, caleb has become infatuated with guitars and playing "king Jesus is all" and "pharaoh, pharaoh". so now sticks and forks and anything long and thin becomes a guitar to strum. it's all super cute.
but...
have you ever read "Go Dog, Go"? we don't have the full version, just the kid's board book and caleb loves it (calls "dogo"). he especially loves the pages with "stop dogs stop" and "go dogs go". but here's the thing. he doesn't actually realize there are dogs in the book except on the page where all the dogs are more realistically colored. that page he freaks out because of all the dogs. and the rest, he's totally oblivious. how can a little baby fork be a guitar but a dog, if colored green, must be some sort of silly monster? what a fun mind to get to know!

gifts and abilities

i've been thinking a lot recently about my spiritual gifts as well as abilities and talents i've developed or been given. and i've come to one major conclusion.
i don't use them well.
actually, i do have the ability to read very quickly, and i do use that to read a lot of books about raising children, being a wife, as well as fun best-sellers so that i'm up on the latest trends. but other than that...
one thing i've really been noticing recently is this ability i have to understand what a person is saying. now i know that's sort of the point of communication, but actually a lot of people aren't that good at it. for me, i can pretty well understand people who speak with different accents as well as extracting the meaning out of what a person is saying who maybe doesn't always put it clearly. i've been wondering recently, what do i do with that? right now, it helps me understand my son and that's enough for me. but i wonder how else i might use it. maybe some sort of mediating or something. i hope someday i find something or start doing something and, all of a sudden, am struck with the understanding that THIS is why i've always been good at understanding.
the other thing i don't use is a spiritual gift of counseling. the reason is that i'm scared to say hard things to people. often i'll think of things that someone needs to hear/work on but unless it's a nice thing, im too afraid of hurting someone's feelings or not being liked. it's totally wrong of me and i know it. so it's something i'm trying to work on, but still opportunities go by...

but do i believe it?

when i was in kentucky at the beginning of this month, i threw a baby shower for my sister and my new little niece. as part of it, i did a little devotional about parenting. can i tell you just how intimidating that was? here i was with moms at all ages and stages of parenting... including my own mom from whom i learned everything i could possibly think of saying. i talked about how much i don't know and how i didn't feel in any position to be sharing. but i did share the two things i do know for sure about parenting. here's one:

I will make a lot of mistakes. I won’t always listen or respond correctly. I won’t always be consistent or a good example. I won’t always be patient or kind. But that doesn’t mean I’m a failure. Isaiah 40:11 says, “He tends His flock like a shepherd: He gathers the lambs in His arms and carries them close to His heart; He gently leads those that have young.” I love the picture that God is gentle toward those with children. He understands how difficult children can be. And He knows that often, we’re hard enough on our selves. Also, I love that the verse talks about Him holding the lambs close to His heart. Our children are first and foremost His children. And He’s entrusted them to us. While that’s sobering, it’s also very encouraging because that means that I am the right mom for my kids. And it is God who is ultimately providing for and protecting them.

do i believe that? i know i believe the part about making mistakes, all i have to do is look at any given day. but the part about not believe a failure? and being the right mom for my kids? i think i'm learning it. but it's a lot easier to remember after a fun morning and long nap than it is after a grumpy morning full of discipline. i want to know the truth and trust God in my parenting, not just my overall life.

dressing and undressing

we seem to be entering a sort of phase for caleb. he likes to decide what to wear (occasionally, not every day) and when not to wear anything anymore. yesterday, we asked him to go get his shoes so we could go to community group. he decided he wanted to wear unmatching ones. he even seemed to enjoy the slightly lopsided walk this forced him to adopt. and this morning he successfully took off his pants all by himself. he then begged me to help him take off his shirt. and he would have taken off his diaper, too, but the cloth ones we use are still a bit above him (thankfully). i'll be interested to see where these new interests take us... possibly to some funny blog stories!

crazy alia

seriously, she's crazy. i can already see her moving... not just feel her, but see her. she's already found both my lungs and my bladder. i swear caleb took a lot longer than this. i hope she gets all her crazy wiggling and squirming out now while she's still little!
on another note, though, i'm getting really excited to meet her. i'm scared, too, but the excitement is starting to overwhelm my fears. i wonder what she'll look like, if she'll have dimples and curly hair, what color her eyes will be, and if she'll have my feet or troy's (we're praying for troy's). i wonder if i can force purple as her favorite color or if i'll have to settle for pink. i wonder what her first word will be and what animals she'll like. i wonder how she'll be like troy, like me, and like caleb. i can't wait to meet the little miss!

dipping

caleb loves to dip. everything. sometimes this works well... he likes fish sticks in ranch dressing, chicken nuggets in bbq sauce, chips in salsa, pita in hummus, etc. other times, not so much... anything in applesauce, anything in yogurt, fruit in anything. it's so cute! he gets so excited when i pull out a little ramekin for him... his own little dipping sauce. and heaven forbid he eat even one bite without dipping!