as a maid of honor (and really i need to do this for all friends, but i more realize this as someone who has signed a marriage certificate), i see my role as supporting the marriage. it is no longer that i support just the bride, but now i am supporting the couple together. so when there are questions or concerns, i can listen and advise, but only in a way that encourages the marriage. when things get tough, i can support, but only in a way that points toward oneness between the two people.
and recently, i've seen my place at a church in a similar way. as a member of the church, it is my job to support the whole church and the unity of the church, not just individual friends or families. i need to listen and advise, but in a way that encourages reconciliation. i can support, but only in a way that fosters unity.
i know it's not a perfect analogy, but it works for me!