Wednesday, May 27, 2009

caleb's sentences

in the last week or so, caleb has started talking in two-word sentences. it just clicked all of a sudden. no more "ball"... "purple". now it's "purple ball" and so on. his favorite is to add "chocoo" (chocolate) in front of anything. smart kid... chocolate does make everything better :) so i hear a lot of "chocoo cookie", "chocoo bar", and "chocoo milk".
he's even tested out a few three-world sentences. so far i've heard "more chocoo cookie", "izzy eat bana" (a friend's dog eats bananas... for real), and "mommy color purple" when caleb wanted me to use the purple crayon instead of the brown one i was currently holding. it's pretty much adorable and fun for me to learn more about how his little brain is learning and processing information. it's cute when his mouth can't quite keep up with his mind.

advice from my midwives

i was talking to my midwife at one of my last appointments and she was asking how i felt about having a second baby. i'm excited, definitely, and scared, mostly. i'm excited to have two kids but not to have another baby. you know that silly little thing on facebook where you can pick your top five "things" or whatever? i saw one that was "five things you dislike that everyone else seems to love". if i had to pick mine, shia labeouf would be on the list... and so would babies. i just like them. oh, i love my babies and the babies of those whom i love, but i'm more of a toddler/school age person myself. i like communication and crying for specific reasons (or better yet, no crying!).
anyway, my midwife had a couple of great things to say to me. first, she commented on my close, sweet relationship with caleb (points to her!). and she told me that while i was worried about how having another baby would affect him, it would be harder on me. i think she's right... he'll figure out how to deal with it and bounce back quickly. plus, i think he'll be a really great big brother. and i'm excited for him to learn that the world doesn't revolve around him :) but it will be hard on me to watch him learn. so i'm trying to think about that once in a while, sort of preparing myself and sort of reassuring myself.
the second thing my midwife had to say was about love for a second baby. she said that, for her, she definitely had that "mother tiger" love for her new baby: fierce and protective. but the deep, knowing love took a while to develop. at first, she felt like she didn't love her second as much but then she realized it was just that she didn't have the memories and time with her that she'd had with the first. i think it might be the same for me. i love alia already and i know the second i lay eyes i her, there's nothing in the world i won't do for her. but the love that i feel for caleb is different than that... it's come from a history together, from studying one another and spending every day together. and even though i won't have that love for alia right away, it makes me excited to start working on it. to start learning about this precious girl who i get to know and care for and love.
i hope i remember these things when the time comes... when i'm feeling down and confused and uncertain. i hope i remember how hopeful and excited i'm feeling right this minute. because i think it will give me the extra boost i need to make it through another day.

Thursday, May 14, 2009

one week...

and then i'll have a verdict on the whole iron situation. next wednesday i'll get my blood drawn and then, most likely, i'll get a call back the next day with the results. i guess i don't even really know all the options. i know that if the levels hold steady then i'm ok... maybe they'll need to check a few more times throughout the pregnancy. but if i drop (with taking all the supplements and doing all the right stuff), then i guess i'll be looking for an OB again. oy. i'll let you know.

limits of imagination

caleb has a great imagination. he loves to have his cars drive over to each other and talk about what they like on their toast (jelly, butter, honey, etc) or what kind of cereal they want for breakfast. he tries to put his diapers on stuffed animals and wants to clean their ears with q-tips. cooking is a favorite thing so any spatula all of a sudden whips up some eggs and anything even remotely cup-like needs to be sipped and shared. most recently, caleb has become infatuated with guitars and playing "king Jesus is all" and "pharaoh, pharaoh". so now sticks and forks and anything long and thin becomes a guitar to strum. it's all super cute.
have you ever read "Go Dog, Go"? we don't have the full version, just the kid's board book and caleb loves it (calls "dogo"). he especially loves the pages with "stop dogs stop" and "go dogs go". but here's the thing. he doesn't actually realize there are dogs in the book except on the page where all the dogs are more realistically colored. that page he freaks out because of all the dogs. and the rest, he's totally oblivious. how can a little baby fork be a guitar but a dog, if colored green, must be some sort of silly monster? what a fun mind to get to know!

Friday, May 1, 2009

gifts and abilities

i've been thinking a lot recently about my spiritual gifts as well as abilities and talents i've developed or been given. and i've come to one major conclusion.
i don't use them well.
actually, i do have the ability to read very quickly, and i do use that to read a lot of books about raising children, being a wife, as well as fun best-sellers so that i'm up on the latest trends. but other than that...
one thing i've really been noticing recently is this ability i have to understand what a person is saying. now i know that's sort of the point of communication, but actually a lot of people aren't that good at it. for me, i can pretty well understand people who speak with different accents as well as extracting the meaning out of what a person is saying who maybe doesn't always put it clearly. i've been wondering recently, what do i do with that? right now, it helps me understand my son and that's enough for me. but i wonder how else i might use it. maybe some sort of mediating or something. i hope someday i find something or start doing something and, all of a sudden, am struck with the understanding that THIS is why i've always been good at understanding.
the other thing i don't use is a spiritual gift of counseling. the reason is that i'm scared to say hard things to people. often i'll think of things that someone needs to hear/work on but unless it's a nice thing, im too afraid of hurting someone's feelings or not being liked. it's totally wrong of me and i know it. so it's something i'm trying to work on, but still opportunities go by...