Friday, July 31, 2009

don't ask me how i'm doing

when i'm asked how these last couple of weeks of pregnancy are going, i typically say something like "i've been better" or "i'm hangin' in there". i guess both of them are true, but i'm mostly just saying them to avoid an emotional melt down in public.
i'm in so much pain, i can't even begin to explain it. i know that the last few weeks of any pregnancy are full of discomfort and pain, but i'm pretty sure this is outside the range of normal. some women (me included during my last pregnancy) try walking to stimulate labor. i can't even get in and out of bed without help. some go through a wonderful nesting period in preparation for their little one. i can't even make it from one room to another in our little condo without stopping for support. it's getting worse and worse. yesterday, i couldn't even leave my house because a) i couldn't make it down three flights of stairs and b) i can't move my legs well enough to drive.
i think i've been trying to just play it off as pregnancy pain and trying to be strong. but today i started doing a bit of research and i'm starting to think i may have a broken or bruised coccyx. that would explain a lot... the horrible pain, the difficulty moving, the intense swelling, etc. i might be wrong, but i just have to find some reason (other than 9 months of pregnancy) for this pain i'm feeling, or i'm not sure how i'll ever work up the nerve to do this again!
thank you to all the people who have stepped up to help me out with caleb or around the house. thank you for all of you who are praying for me and for Alia to come soon. and please, don't ask me how i'm doing, just know that answer is "horribly" and i'm not sure when it will change.

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

opposites attract

at least for caleb they do. he is really interested in opposites right now. his first introduction to opposites was big and little. we started talking about it by making "great big giant" balls of playdough and "little tiny baby" balls of playdough. and then we had "great big giant" dog stuffed animals and "little tiny baby" dog stuffed animals. for a while, he wouldn't even say "big", he would just make some growling, "great big giant" sound. now's he's starting to branch out to explore other opposites...
tight and loose: we talk about this when getting into his car seat. i'll pull the seat belt tight and then way loose. back and forth. it was fun and he learned tight and loose all right... but now every time he gets into his seat, he complains that it is "tight". i'm creating a monster!
loud and quiet: i read in a book (or maybe i saw it on tv) that the best way to teach a dog to be quiet is to teach them the command "speak". then they just start barking when told to bark. anyway, caleb learned loud and quiet in a similar way... playing the drums (aka hitting a pillow with lincoln logs). he was banging too loudly so we taught him how to play loud and quiet. it's cute now to watch him see just how quiet he can be. of course, he still prefers loud.
over and under: i think caleb's gram taught him this one by helping him step over a blanket. for a while he then wanted to put everything on the ground and step over it. and under is an easy one... what little boy doesn't drive cars under tunnels made of blocks?
off and on: actually, maybe this was caleb's first opposite. off was one of his first words. we must have spent hours with him laying on his changing table and asking for the light switch "ott" and "on".
there are probably more, but that's all i have for right now...

mommy's belly

caleb loves talking about my big baby belly. recently he's been interested in measuring it with his little elephant tape measure (just like the one my midwives use!). one day he measured the table and it was "3...4". then he measured my belly, "5...6". so apparently my tummy is bigger than a coffee table. i mean, i knew i was big, but furniture big?! then later, when i asked him how big mommy's belly is, he replied, "13!!", which is the biggest number he knows :) that's like a kindergartner saying "1 million" or a smart alec kid saying "infinity plus 1".
caleb's also been fascinated recently by my belly button. at first, he was a little unsure why it looked so different from what he thought a belly button should look like. so i explained that ali makes my belly and belly button look different, a little funny. so now he calls my belly button an "ali button".

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

caleb and ali

i know that caleb doesn't really get that the "baby ali" he loves so much now will be an actual crying, eating, taking time from mommy, baby. but it's still cute to watch him develop a relationship with her.
  • he love to sing about her in "He's got the whole world in His hands."
  • he wants to put lotion on her every day. while he rubs lotion on my tummy, he makes her talk to him. she often says "thank you caleb", "more lotion please", or "nice gentle hands". it's freakin' adorable.
  • he talks about reading her the "oops book" (blue hat, green hat).
  • today at bella materna, he talked about buying clothes to help "mommy feed ali".
  • every time we get in the car, he gets re-excited about "caleb sit ali car seat" or "ali seat belt, caleb seat belt, yeah" since her car seat was just installed a few days ago.

i look forward to watching this special relationship between them develop more and more.

Sunday, July 19, 2009

some highlights of my weekend

  • friday night, i thought troy was going to have to work... and he didn't! we got to play games instead. and i won 2 out of 3, so life was good!
  • saturday morning, friends babysat caleb so troy and i could spend a few hours on the beach, talking about the next 6 months. we talked about what we need from each other, what we need to purchase, who we will go and visit, how we will spend our time during the week, etc. a wonderful time of dreaming together about our new family of four.
  • between saturday and sunday nap times, troy and i checked off 4 things from our "to do before Alia comes" list.
  • randomly, caleb has been saying "Yo Baby". no idea why or what he thinks it means, but i got it on video. he's also been trying out the concept of "me, too". again, he's not really sure when it should be said, but it's sure cute to hear when he decides to pull it out.
  • while troy was pulling out some things for lunch today, i decided to lay down. caleb told me i should lay down in my bed and he even brought me his two most special blankets to cover me up. and when it was time to get up, he offered me his hand. what a sweet heart he has... and he's obviously watching how troy takes care of me.

my two companions

discomfort and exhaustion are my two constant companions right now. and they feed off of each other. i can sleep only if i'm too exhausted to pay attention to the discomfort. so, if i take a nap to help with the exhaustion, discomfort wins at night. but if i don't take a nap, the discomfort is so much harder to bear during the day.
only three more weeks, give or take!

Sunday, July 12, 2009

maternity dresses

hate. them. on. me.
there are lots of super-cute maternity dresses and i often admire how lovely women look when wearing them. and then i try one on. yuck.
i think the problem is how i carry babies. i actually like how i carry them... straight out in front. pretty much i don't get bigger anywhere other than my belly. this causes some other issues such as major stretch marks and a hard time getting rid of said baby belly. but it's the way my body works, and i like it. in fact, i actually think i look kind of cute in normal maternity clothes (except for the fact that now most of them aren't long enough to cover my belly). but not dresses. my theory is that since i stick out so far in front, dresses just hang funny and make me look and feel like a big boat.
the reason this is all coming up right now is that i have a wedding to go to of a dear friend from high school. it's in two weeks, so i'll be at 38 weeks pregnant. i've been asking around for a cute dress to borrow and have received many options. yesterday, i even got to see a picture of one i could borrow and it looked perfect. so i borrowed it today and tried it on. it looked so good on the gal in the picture! but not on me. sigh. maybe i should just be thankful that i even have some options for clothes that can fit rather than complaining about how they look. but it's a wedding, is it too much to ask to look cute??