but do i believe it?

when i was in kentucky at the beginning of this month, i threw a baby shower for my sister and my new little niece. as part of it, i did a little devotional about parenting. can i tell you just how intimidating that was? here i was with moms at all ages and stages of parenting... including my own mom from whom i learned everything i could possibly think of saying. i talked about how much i don't know and how i didn't feel in any position to be sharing. but i did share the two things i do know for sure about parenting. here's one:

I will make a lot of mistakes. I won’t always listen or respond correctly. I won’t always be consistent or a good example. I won’t always be patient or kind. But that doesn’t mean I’m a failure. Isaiah 40:11 says, “He tends His flock like a shepherd: He gathers the lambs in His arms and carries them close to His heart; He gently leads those that have young.” I love the picture that God is gentle toward those with children. He understands how difficult children can be. And He knows that often, we’re hard enough on our selves. Also, I love that the verse talks about Him holding the lambs close to His heart. Our children are first and foremost His children. And He’s entrusted them to us. While that’s sobering, it’s also very encouraging because that means that I am the right mom for my kids. And it is God who is ultimately providing for and protecting them.

do i believe that? i know i believe the part about making mistakes, all i have to do is look at any given day. but the part about not believe a failure? and being the right mom for my kids? i think i'm learning it. but it's a lot easier to remember after a fun morning and long nap than it is after a grumpy morning full of discipline. i want to know the truth and trust God in my parenting, not just my overall life.

dressing and undressing

we seem to be entering a sort of phase for caleb. he likes to decide what to wear (occasionally, not every day) and when not to wear anything anymore. yesterday, we asked him to go get his shoes so we could go to community group. he decided he wanted to wear unmatching ones. he even seemed to enjoy the slightly lopsided walk this forced him to adopt. and this morning he successfully took off his pants all by himself. he then begged me to help him take off his shirt. and he would have taken off his diaper, too, but the cloth ones we use are still a bit above him (thankfully). i'll be interested to see where these new interests take us... possibly to some funny blog stories!

crazy alia

seriously, she's crazy. i can already see her moving... not just feel her, but see her. she's already found both my lungs and my bladder. i swear caleb took a lot longer than this. i hope she gets all her crazy wiggling and squirming out now while she's still little!
on another note, though, i'm getting really excited to meet her. i'm scared, too, but the excitement is starting to overwhelm my fears. i wonder what she'll look like, if she'll have dimples and curly hair, what color her eyes will be, and if she'll have my feet or troy's (we're praying for troy's). i wonder if i can force purple as her favorite color or if i'll have to settle for pink. i wonder what her first word will be and what animals she'll like. i wonder how she'll be like troy, like me, and like caleb. i can't wait to meet the little miss!

dipping

caleb loves to dip. everything. sometimes this works well... he likes fish sticks in ranch dressing, chicken nuggets in bbq sauce, chips in salsa, pita in hummus, etc. other times, not so much... anything in applesauce, anything in yogurt, fruit in anything. it's so cute! he gets so excited when i pull out a little ramekin for him... his own little dipping sauce. and heaven forbid he eat even one bite without dipping!

iron

my mom was anemic when she was pregnant so i knew it was a very good possibility that it would be the same for me. sure enough, in my first pregnancy, after my 28-week blood draw, i got a call. "your iron is low." and not just a little low, either. it was enough that they told me to go right to a pharmacy, get some iron tablets, and start taking a double dose that very day. i figured it would be similar this time around. what i didn't know, though, was how much it could impact me.
i had my first blood draw at about 16 weeks. already low (the level was 33.3 if that means anything to anyone). so, i ate a LOT of spinach (spinach salad, spinach pasta, spinach and egg salad, spinach with humus, etc), drank tea made out of rose hips (actually quite good), and ate a lot of dried fruit. so i was hopeful that at my 20 week appointment, the level would have at least held steady. no such luck (dropped to 30.something). it's apparently not a good thing that it dropped so much in such a short time. and that the diet did absolutely no good. so, i bought an herbal supplement and i'm getting an over-the-counter supplement, too. and while i'm not thrilled about having to take all of that, it's not a big deal... except...
here's the bad news. if my iron levels don't "iron" out (ha ha) i can't have an out-of-hospital birth. and i really like my midwives and the birth center and i don't want to have to switch. so here's praying these supplements do their thing!

what alia sounds like

i had a midwife appointment yesterday and caleb came with me (what i wouldn't give for family nearby to watch him or come with me to the appointment... sigh). he was actually really great and was understanding of when he couldn't come up onto the bed (blood draw) and when he could (listening to the heartbeat). he really liked hearing alia. in fact, he kept talking about it the whole trip home. and when we picked troy up from work, caleb was ready to tell daddy just what alia sounded like "hwoo hwoo hwoo".

listening to my son

yesterday, caleb woke up crying from his nap... which is fairly unusual for him. as i was holding and rocking him, he had a hard time settling down, so i asked him if something hurt. "yeah" was his response. next i asked him to tell me what hurt. "head", "ear" he said, while pulling on his right ear. so today i decided to honor his communication and take him to the pediatrician. sure enough, an ear infection (thankfully only his second ever) in his right ear. poor little man! i'm so thankful for his ability to understand and communicate and am glad i actually listened so he didn't have to suffer any longer. bring on the cherry antibiotics!