i didn't grow up having a whole lot. if i needed new clothes or shoes, i waited until christmas or my birthday. then i put the important things on my list, and what i got had to last me until the next time i got gifts. this was fine by me and taught me a lot about what is really important in life. my family got along well and welcomed people into our home. friends would stop by and were made to feel a part of the family. i never felt lacking in any way.
that way of living has followed me throughout my life. i've never even had a clothing budget... gasp... it's true. not because troy won't let me but because i wouldn't even know what to do with it. buy clothes, i guess :) even now i will save up a list of things i need and ask for them for christmas or birthday. and i'm really happy.
but sometimes, it feels like i shouldn't be. recently, we went over to the mall (an exceptionally yuppie mall, in my opinion) to get out of the rain and have a place to hang out. i was overwhelmed. everywhere i looked i felt as though i was bombarded by a "look like this", "wear this", "smell like this", "eat this", "have this" attitude. there has to be a balance. i want to look nice and put together. i want to feel good about myself. but i don't want to get sucked into that consumer mindset. i feel like i get pulled from one extreme to the other. i really admire people who are able to find that balance. and it's something i'm working on.